New beginnings 

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I’m starting the process of writing my book & one thing I’m practicing is being open about life situations and living my own truth regardless of acceptance or judgment. I believe that what is in secret cannot help others to heal or try to find peace. And that there are others who need encouragement through this thing called life- these writings are not meant for the gossip, they are to help others who are in pain, recognize their own light: (please respect the people involved. peace and blessings) 
In the past month we have seen a flurry of events happening around us and to the ones we love. It has been extremely stressful trying to jump start every day, not knowing if others would give us a chance, the scrutiny/games and lies. Finding the right job, trying to create a baby, start our family life, grow and not feel trapped by disappointment or fear of ourselves & judged by others. But we continued to try to build on love. Two amazing people who were blessed to find each other, in a land of darkness and our past haunted us viciously, feeling trapped on both ends and not able to communicate because we were holding onto the pain. We have failed to show up for ourselves & be the light in the darkness. It takes two to tango, it’s a choice to choose love and work on healing what is necessary. To clean ourselves up, of the crap that’s been left behind. Most couples go on in relationships, not speaking of the deep rooted pains of our past & present, sleeping next to a stranger they are married to, running from each other and things ending in divorce, emotionally abusing each other (my past). When we are drowning in that moment, unable to love our self. My dad said you have to love yourself first before you can try to love someone else. And that is exactly what we will take the time doing. Our bond is beautiful, our prayers with God were strong, but everyone needs to grow up including myself. I love being able to admit my own fuck ups and setting boundaries. I love how two amazing people can be grown ups and say what is really on our minds and how unacceptable our behaviors were. I believe that divine timing will work it out but we have to want it & show action. What we lost was a miscarriage of everything we needed to get rid of from the past, to bring us closer to understanding. God bless a love that is built on change and no bullshit. To really see each other as human beings, with compassion and not blame. Growth is necessary and I’m happy that I don’t have to trap my own self or each other, we can free ourselves from bondage of a fucked up work place, our egos, imperfections, the past lessons and move forward in why we got together in the first place. This loveless society can kiss my ass. Thanks to us for recognizing then we are better than this bs & to those who know our hearts and allow us to find our way through being human.

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